Monica...made new

A Long-Overdue Update!

2009-05-12T21:25:00.000-07:00

Hi folks! Yes, I realize it has been an eternity since I have ever said anything on here...quite honestly I had kind of forgotten I had this site. :) Ha!

So, in January, I was ever-so-blessed with this, my very own car:

Yeah we've made great friends. I have sometimes missed my other car (perhaps because we were parted so suddenly and without ceremony!), but in some ways, this one is everything that one wasn't...which is kind of nice.

I was borrowing my dad's...and, um...the transmission went out when I was driving it. Now I get teased that I am bad luck to cars and shouldn't touch anyone's. Ha ha HA.

School is just about over now! Technically, it is, but I am still finishing up a class that I have to submit to my teacher by July. It's hard to get motivated when I am tired of school, but easier to get motivated because that is the only thing I have to work on. Seriously, though, when you really think about it, who is THAT motivated to do school, anyway? ;)

I have been offered some summertime responsibilities at work, it is a great opportunity to learn some new skills and help out, and put in some more hours. Last week I worked my first 24-hr. work week in ages...it was insane, I left at 2pm on Thursday to go home till Monday! It was fun, though.

And, of course, here are Abby and Baylee (and Samson!) now. Notice the abundance of fur in comparison to my Oct./Nov. posts!

An update!

2009-01-05T21:01:00.001-08:00

The "children", now slightly fluffier:

Well, it's been an eventful couple of months! I passed the senior competency exam, so Lord willing I will get to graduate in May! I finished the semester okay, despite exhaustion from so many deadlines, both at school and at work. This wreck was what my desk looked like most of the time:

However, it was a really good semester. :)

As many of you know, my first week of break, I wrecked my car. Yeah, a very sad event, not only did I really like that car, but I also got pretty bad whiplash. :(

Here's a picture:

So right now my excitement is in finding something else to drive! Also in working my way through Christian Theology I directed study! God's been really good to me, I am still alive and well, and He provides. :)

Studying for Senior Comp....

2008-11-13T19:40:00.001-08:00

I was studying the vast amounts of Bible knowledge necessary for the Senior Competency Exam, and I kid you not, the dogs came up and kept me company just like you see here. Aww! :)

What happens when I work at home...

2008-11-03T21:31:00.001-08:00

Who can get anything done? :)

Happy November!

2008-11-01T19:29:00.001-07:00

My extra pictures:

Baylee, the little one.

Abby, who loves to lie on me (have I mentioned she is like 75 lbs.?)

And of course our beloved Samson, who's been a little weary of these new dogs. The girls don't have the manners that he does, and often step on him if he is in their path. Poor kid.

A growing family

2008-10-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

Here I am with the newest members of our family, Abby and Baylee. We got them last weekend- they're Great Pyrenees.

Abby, the one on the left, who's very obviously invading my space, does this on a regular basis. My first clue was right before these pictures were taken, when she walked up to me, stared me in the face (about 1/2 an inch or less from touching me) and then literally sat in my lap. LOL...needless to say, I didn't let her stay there, but she still tried to be buddy-buddy with me as you can see here:

The black dog on the far left is Samson, our other dog, a flat-coat retriever. It's interesting if they are all together, because they all want my attention at the same time! Thankfully there are only three of them.. :) I have more pictures but I don't have them accessible at present, so they'll come later. Times have been crazy, so my new furry companions have been a welcome distraction.

Gilbert

2008-10-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

My family decided we had a bunny-shaped void in our lives, since we just lost our 6+ year old rabbit friend, so we picked up this cute little guy named Gilbert. He's really small and will stay that size! Even if you don't like pets you have to admit he is precious... :-)

The Fog

2008-10-12T20:45:00.000-07:00

As a coastal dweller...fog is most definitely not a stranger here. I see it on my way to work and school; some mornings it is so thick, it's zero visibility.

Sadly, sometimes this is what life can seem at times. Zero visibility. Hard to focus, hard to move. Come to think of it, where am I, where am I going? This is SO not an okay position to be in!

"The fog" represents a form of confusion. Perhaps as a result of a flashback to the old life.

The Lord's been doing a lot of work in my heart. Like the sun burning straight through the fog, so He cuts through the wishy-washiness, the zero visibility.

This figurative "fog" is every bit as dangerous as the real thing. To try to maneuver your way through life when you can't see where you are going is bad, to just sit there because you can't see in order to go anywhere is even worse.

I've heard before from my mom, that in regard to being called to live for Christ,

"stop turning aside to old neighborhoods. You don't live there anymore."

Just when you don't think you need that reminder anymore, you find that you do. Thank God for reminders! May God grant us the grace and the humilty to move on in this new life and serve Him wholeheartedly, without looking back.

(disclaimer: neither of these pictures came from my area...the first looks like it did, but the second is from the UK)

Age approaches...

2008-06-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

I realized today that I am almost twenty-four.

This was an interesting realization, because at my age, my mother had three children and was well-established in running her own home. Me, I am a workoholic, I definitely do not run my own home, and to me, kids are usually the whining, screaming, or crying noises I hear at stores. (Okay, while that statement is true, I really don't hate kids! Really.) Life seems to have taken forever to get to this point, yet has still gone by so fast. It feels like yesterday when I was standing in line to get my college ID picture taken, and that was nearly 6 years ago!

This looming agingness of mine seems to have made me pretty contemplative. For example, I was sad the other day, and someone very close to me had reminded me that this attitude can and will affect others, whether I mean it to or not. I thought, what? Let me be sad if I want! In essence, I still was acting like that whiny little kid. Things were not going my way and I figure, well, if I am upset enough, maybe things will? Who knows! Whatever the case it did not work, in fact quite the opposite happened.

I have been learning a great deal about what God requires of me with my attitude and my conduct. It has been a hard lesson to learn; quite humbling. Somehow I find myself trying to justify my thoughts and actions because of pain and heartache, because of fatigue or being over-occupied. I cannot blame other people for my actions, as I am responsible for them. I learn now, that no matter what I think I feel like doing, I must rise up and bless His name. It's not about me.

Discipline

2008-04-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

In my younger years, I spent quite a bit of my time training in the Korean art of Taekwon-do.

I learned to implement 5 basic tenets:

Courtesy
Integrity
Perseverance
Self-Control
Indomitable Spirit

I trained hard. I am not a hefty or strong physique by any means, I, of all my sisters, was always called "delicate" and I hated that. I worked twice as hard in an attempt to make up for it.

This art required a great deal of concentration and coordination. Somehow this equaled strength. The discipline factor resulted in a lot of crazy things.

For example, one of the requirements to move up in rank was, of course, board breaking. For the sake of training we used re-breakables, which were plastic and interlocked down the center like a sort of puzzle. Pine boards were reserved for testing only, and the re-breakable plastics were actually much harder to work with (they had only one point at which to break, whereas a piece of pine has many). I can remember slamming my fist into these boards at least a dozen different moves, traditional, knife hand, two-knuckle, ridge hand, you name it. After I wound up with bruised and sometimes bleeding knuckles on many occasions, my teachers saw that I would probably break my hand before I broke the board, and decided to offer me elbow breaks instead.

I nearly broke my arm the first time I made such a board break. I have no idea what it was that drove me to try and try and try again, when I only ended up injured and frustrated.

I guess the main reason for this strange perseverance was, I was trained to obey. Over time I learned to ignore pain and fatigue and keep going. Part of this was a result of my teacher's threats to make us do knuckle push-ups in the unpaved parking lot or run laps barefoot around the neighborhood...

Upon a little reflection, I have realized how dedicated I was. I practiced, practiced, practiced. And now? Do I work that hard at anything anymore?

I call myself a Christian, am I disciplining myself unto godliness? I claim that God is of the utmost importance in my life, but do I live like it?

I like to think I am a hard worker, but do I really push as hard as I can to meet a deadline?

I say I make good use of my time...but we all know there is always room for improvement!

As for money...I definitely could get by without some of the things I spend money on. Am I being a good steward of whatever is in my responsiblility?

Life could/should be so much richer than it is. God has gifted me so much, and I am lethargic and think that I'm okay, when I'm not. I'm not saying we should discipline ourselves quite in the fashion that I did for taekwon-do, but similar. If something is right, do it even if it hurts. Do it even if no one else can carry on anymore. Do it until you like it and learn to love it!

It is my prayer to learn discipline once more, but to be able to implement it into my life as it was designed to be.

Weeds

2008-03-16T22:54:00.000-07:00

I've been hearing/reading interesting ideas lately, by professing Christian people. Ideas like,

Christians can swear, drink as much as and whatever they want, and keep whatever company they want,
Listen to whatever music they want, watch whatever movies they want, read whatever magazines they want, go wherever they want, you name it....

AS LONG AS THEIR "HEART IS RIGHT" with God.

People, what on earth?

Earlier today I spent a little time cleaning out my iTunes library and my iPod...again. Last time was not quite thoroughly enough.

"Wait!" you say. "What about the beginning of this post?"

What about it? I was thrown into a whirlwind of thought by those ideas. Not at all new ones to me, but I really thought through them this time, I want to know how this sneaks into my life. When I took inventory I realized that I still have music that needs to go. I have movies that will go too. A close friend helped me realize that if you have to sit and think about what's wrong with something...then it needs to go. If it requires that much thought, then 9 times out of 10 you are just trying to rationalize. Or try this one, if you had the mindset I mentioned, that it's ok to do any of those things, then ask yourself this:

If God were to ask you why you did it, what would you say?

That ought to wipe out pretty much every stupid, time-wasting habit we have. People pride themselves on the "ability to think" for themselves. A lot of students exit Master's College in particular, feeling as if they have been brainwashed, feeling as if they have been forced to think "biblically" one way or another, and all of a sudden, now they are free to be themselves. If that is true, that is so sad. For an environment that encourages godly behavior, to say it is like jail, well, that pretty much tells us how much you care about God. What a shame.

As a Christian I don't find that I am at all at liberty to "think for myself", I am a slave for God and am to do what He requires of me. Did any of those ideas at the beginning of the post mention holiness? No. Holiness will never be found in a "thinking for myself" attitude because holiness requires thinking in a way that would please God, thinking how He wants us to about these issues in life. It requires living my life in such a way that there should be no question as to who I belong to. And yeah this can be difficult, especially if everyone around you is doing something different. Maybe we are called to be strangers and aliens here. What a thought. If you belong to Christ, I pray this post prods you to check for weeds and get some Round-Up and/or pull them out. If you don't want to, if you like those weeds I mentioned, and don't want to get rid of them, maybe it's time to take inventory...and see if you are even a Christian. By what you do/don't weed out of your life you will show who you are, and who you belong to. If your heart is right with God, you won't be comfortable with weeds, you will pull them out, no matter what it costs you.

2007- My Year in Review

2008-01-07T19:44:00.000-08:00

For those of you who have been much involved in my life, you know what sort of things last year brought my way. A lot of frustration, a lot of confusion, a lot of mistakes. And then the same sort of cycle, over and over, seeming endless.

(The ridicuous maze to the right is to give you an idea of what life seemed like)

I had enough in my life that at the time I'd thought would have been enough to make me happy, but it never was enough. Still the same cycle, I never seemed able to change.

Then, as the book of Ephesians states, there was a "But God..." in my life. In November, God intervened in my life. He saved me from that vicious circle of sin, and has begun a good work in me. This documents the most important time of my life. Everything else pales, in fact, nothing else last year is even mentionable in comparison, other than the following month and a half of growth. Praise God for being the One capable of breaking that cycle of sin, otherwise I'd still be in it.

Pride and Where I Find It...

2007-12-26T10:45:00.000-08:00

When I was in college, I had a teacher who used to say about pride, “The question we should have is not ‘is there pride in my life?’ but ‘where is it, and how much?’”, then we should seek to rid ourselves of it no matter what it costs us. If I apply that to myself, where do I find pride, the simple answer is everywhere. I find it when I spend too long getting ready in the morning. I find it when I can’t wear something that I don’t think looks fabulous because I have to be seen by other people. I find it every time I am lazy, every time I am less than gracious. It’s a constant stream of me, me, me, me, me, me, and me. It’s a monster!

So what to do about it? It’s not like it was when we were little kids, where you close/cover your eyes in hopes that whatever you don’t like will go away. You cannot escape the reality of sin. Simply covering up your pride issue with some added niceness is like trying to apply cosmetics to an outbreak of poison oak, to cover it up. Unless it is treated properly like the disease that it is, it will spread.

The only antidote strong enough for the poisons we produce is the Bible, the Word of God. Hebrews 4:12 states,

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Time to increase our exposure, I should think. The word “piercing” is what gets me; it reminds me there is no way of hiding anything. It reminds me of dark mornings during my childhood, when my sister would get up and turn on the main light in our bedroom. Talk about piercing!

Consider also Psalm 119:11,

I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

Looks like the writer of Psalm 119 caught onto something. If God shows you that pride is everywhere in your life, go after it, and show it no mercy. Don’t help it hide. If the Word of God is so important to our spiritual health, what else is there to do? Let’s up our intake, and strive to be rid of this monster of self, no matter what it costs us. The only reason we wouldn't is because of our own pridefulness, and that's the whole point, now, isn't it?

A different language

2007-12-12T14:09:00.000-08:00

I used to do my share of swearing. Maybe it was mostly in my own head, but occasionally something would “slip out”. Not a lot, compared to some people, I had a couple girlfriends at my last job that made the stereotypical “sailor” sound like a little kid. Now, you may read this and think, “How sad…” or you may read this and think, “That’s me, too.”

What I have noticed since high school is that a disturbing amount of so-called Christians cling to (or even introduce) forms of offensive language into their talk. I knew people who would talk about God in one conversation, then turn right around and use a deluxe set of four-letter words in the next. Why? Well, maybe because it helps you to blend in. Maybe it is fun for the shock value. Maybe it is because you really do not care about what you do, and your language is a great way to show it. Whatever the reason, if you are a Christian, one thing you should know is that God calls us to a radical standard, one that is so completely different from everyone else, and on purpose!

Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips (Proverbs 4:24).

But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. (Colossians 3:8)

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:31).

People who do not care about language show a lot of what they think about God. And since God cares about your language, for you not to care is you showing you don’t care about God every time you swear, whether you “let something slip” or said it on purpose. A changed life exhibits changed speech. It doesn’t matter if somebody made you mad, you stubbed your toe, you dropped your $300 cell phone, or you are trying to make people laugh. This is yet another thing we are to cast off. Watch your mouth, and remember-- Christians speak a different language.

Worthless Things

2007-12-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

Last week, I did something I had never done before. No, it wasn’t skydiving, eating swordfish, observing sharks in a cage underwater, camping in the snow, or any other activity that makes little sense to me.

What did I do what was so unusual for me? I went through my iTunes library and deleted about 50+ songs from my hard drive. Considering that a lot of those were bought online, yikes, I might as well have thrown a handful of dollar bills to the wind.

As those closest to me know, I recently became a Christian. And yeah, I know, how many times can a person “get saved” before it is legit, right? I’ve wondered that myself throughout my life, what an irony that I was one such case. I came to realize, wow. These things that characterize a Christian, that define a person who follows after God in holiness…these things are nowhere to be found in my life. All I showed was a clever imitation. But God changed my heart much, and brought me to repentance. Now, I know that what results from repentance and a change in heart is a change in my lifestyle, reflecting this. There should be no doubt Who I belong to.

Any music that could be labeled “questionable” got deleted. Ciara, Rihanna, Usher, Maroon 5, Linkin Park, Nickelback, Christina Aguilera, and yes, even the infamous Justin Timberlake, to name just a few.

I was reminded earlier today of a message I heard at church a few weeks back, in which my brother-in-law, Bobby, brought up Psalm 119. I have started reading this Psalm, by the way, and wow. I want to learn to live like that! Verse 37 states (in the NIV and NASB versions combined),

“Turn my eyes away from worthless things, and revive me according to your ways.”

And remembering what Bobby talked about, keeping that music I had, well, it could easily be characterized as “worthless”. All it talks about is how to “get it”, how to “keep it”, and how to get back at whoever hurt you when you when something goes wrong. Looking back at it, those songs are all so lame! I encourage you, if you need to clean out your music, or any media, for that matter, do it. If something in your life can be characterized as spiritually worthless, what good will it do you to hold on to it? Let it go, and focus on all that matters, all that satisfies. Be revived, and be obedient. Otherwise life is nothing more than a clever imitation of what it could be.

Cheating...more common than you think

2007-11-26T20:47:00.001-08:00

When cheating comes to mind, what does it make you think of?

School, most likely, being swindled, or some bad boyfriend/ girlfriend experiences are generally what will come to mind along with the word. Some definitions may include: gaining something by dishonesty, unfaithfulness, or just violating any set of rules.

Here’s another side to it--what about people who simply lack patience? Impatience is one of the key elements that lead to cheating. Let me give you a few examples:

1. Relationships that reap the results of “taking it too far”. The idea that cheating isn’t cheating until after one of the people involved go to someone else is false! Cheating is cheating the second you went too far in your mind. You lusted after something you couldn’t have, this is cheating.
2. Debt because you “had to have” whatever you’d seen, so of course you bought it. I’ve heard credit card debt stories that made me cringe. Spending money you don't have is bad. Spending money you do not have and do not even need to spend, is worse.
3. Debt because you “had” to go to an expensive school. And many people hold tight to it, even if a cheaper school would have been as good if not better. Regardless of how high in esteem this school is held, is it really worth your full salary for 4 years past school?
4. Car payments up to your eyes because either you were not willing to wait until you could afford a car that expensive, or you would not accept a cheaper alternative because it might hurt your pride.

Any of these sound familiar? If so, I hope you learned. Cheating is a direct result of selfishness, and is something that has no place in the life of a believer. Patience is one of the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and should be exemplified by those who are imitating Christ. To “cheat” by grabbing at what you think you need/want shows that your soul is not satisfied in Him, it shows He is not Lord of your life. What is so important to understand is that the sin doesn’t begin in doing it. Even in our examples mentioned above, to even think about considering cheating in school, etc… is sin. It all begins in the heart, which, in turn, sends it straight to the mind. The second you entertain a thought of something you cannot/should not have, with the intent of acting on it, you are wrong. Just like a kid who sneaks a peek at the test of the kid next to him because he didn’t study. Just like the homeless guy who had so much and lost it all because he gambled it all away, thinking he could get more. You pay for it in the end, even if it seems like you got by.

Sobering thoughts for me, because so much of this goes on, if not in my own life than in someone’s close to me. There is no substitute for living in godly obedience, and working hard for what you have, even if it is not what you’d have liked. When God blesses you, it is with whatever He believes is right for you. Maybe it is a lesser version of whatever think you want. Maybe He blesses you with this amazing ability to work for it. In any case, let’s celebrate all He has given us, and not try to cheat through life. How could we ever be fulfilled that way? Thank God He knows what is best!

Reflections

2007-11-22T19:50:00.000-08:00

This past week I was reading in All Things for Good by Thomas Watson. Something that really stood out to me was the following:

"Water in the glass looks clear, but set it on fire, and the scum boils up."
"...'Oh,' says a Christian, 'I never thought I had such a bad heart, as now I see I have; I never thought my corruptions had been so strong, and my graces so weak.'"

This has proven much true in my own life, there's been many a time as of late when I have thought, "yikes, is this really how I am...did that really come out of me?" only to realize that not only was it me that was like that, but the very things that horrified me so badly were really only the tip of the iceberg.

Living a blameless life was never really something I thought I had a problem with. Which is a problem in and of itself! My own pride was blatantly obvious... Thank God for revealing existing impurity day by day and not just expecting righteous living, but making it possible. My encouragement to my readers is, find out just how possible! Learn and grow, and never visit your old life. It's dead and buried in that graveyard, and it has no control over you.

Now that is something to give thanks for.

So thankful

2007-11-21T10:09:00.000-08:00

As tomorrow is Thanksgiving, it's set me thinking, what am I thankful for?

1. This amazing God we serve, and the chance to serve Him.
2. My loving family; I am so thankful for their challenges, encouragement, and support. They never shy from honesty, they tell it like it is, and that is a quality I really appreciate about them.
3. My friends, for not being "yes men" (women).
4. My job (if I was ever to even think of complaining, one quick trip to a local Home Depot is the cure).
5. Good health, for obvious reasons.
6. A reliable car...thank God for that, last year I was convinced the seller had pulled one over on me. Seems he didn't.
7. Whatever the future holds.

Here's to growth in Christ. It is my prayer I will decrease, in order that He may increase...and become the everything in my life. Without Him, I really am nothing. <><

The old has gone...

2007-11-19T15:28:00.000-08:00

You may be wondering, "what's with the graveyard?" It represents my past life, my sins, my old self. It's dead and buried. Not in the picture (that's actually in NZ anyway!), but spiritually my old life is no longer breathing.
I would like to tell you all, what an amazing God we have. Because of Him, the new can come now. I want to love Him with all my heart, and I pray that others may see even a tiny glimpse of Him in me.